So I find myself at 49, being classed as the 'main carer' for my mum aged 79. I have 4 other siblings but none live close to mum so find myself automatically designated the main carer. As our population ages my situation is familiar to many, mum has being diagnosed with Dementia, living in her own home - her wish, and now our roles have reversed. Mum was always the rock in our family when I was growing up, as the youngest of 5 children we kept mum busy but she was always the one who helped us solve any problems and was the one who could be relied upon to guide us along the best path. Now I find my siblings and relatives contacting me for updates on mum. I find myself being the one supporting mum, with decision making, sorting out finances, ordering medication, arranging appointments, shopping, making meals, organising what ever is needed. I am a mum with my own children and feel as though I have become a mum to another. That's fine though, don't get me wrong I will do anything I can to keep mum happy and do what ever is needed. It is a constant roller coaster of emotions though - when mum is content and reminiscing in the old days it is lovely to see her happy, but then come the out of the blue times where she is distressed, unsure of where she is or what to do - phone calls in the middle of the night as she doesn't always recognise night from day and needs reassurance when she is scared. Life continues, my children are grown, grandchildren have come and family demands from all angles continue, but at the heart of my life my mum is my rock as she has shown me strength as I have grown and although she may no longer always recognise who I am I will always be her daughter (not the carer) and she will always be my mum.